He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
