I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
