a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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