I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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