yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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