it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
