Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize