we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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