I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
God, I missed his penis.
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