you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
