Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
