Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
