she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
