So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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