Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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