for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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