We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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