Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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