My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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