Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
