just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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