You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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