It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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