How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
