They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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