SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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