Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I smell stomach acid.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
