I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize