I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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