Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
