Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
