I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
