oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
