id be glad to
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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