did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
