mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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