ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
