I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
