You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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