I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Drake has all the answers
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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