There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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