is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
