I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
