I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
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he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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