Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
