You made me cry and you don't even care
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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