it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
