In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
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My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
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Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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