All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just had sex bonerless
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize