ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
