i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I could have mohawked her pubes.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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