I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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