I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
