she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
