i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize