she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
