am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
