It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
