dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
