i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
