This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
