I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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