You surviving the open bar?
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Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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