so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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