K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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