Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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