can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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