You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
